What We Need to Say
by one of the remaining
Summary: LavSun book 5. Tara gets home from work, and the pair have a talk with Buffy and Willow.


Tara walked into the crypt and set her bags down on the sarcophagus. She walked over to the area she had designated as the kitchen and picked up the kettle. She filled it with water and set it on the camp stove to heat up while she moved around, absently tidying up the place. She sighed and smiled slightly to herself. She'd spent the day trying to understand her relationship with Spike, in between tending her class, and had come up with one important conclusion. She was happy with her current situation. Her only problem was how she could tell him.

She walked over to the sarcophagus and picked up the grocery bags and started loading things into the fridge. They had to buy groceries twice a week, since there wasn't much room in the fridge. She walked over to the camp stove and lifted the lid off the boiling kettle. She hadn't seen her friends in so long, but they probably wouldn't welcome her back with open arms. And anyway, she still had Spike and her job.

She put a small handful of herbs into the kettle and put the lid back on. She sat in the chair in front of the tv and let her mind wander. She didn't know how it happened, of course, but she was going to accept it for what it was. She smiled at the feeling filling her heart. Spike was a multifaceted person. On the outside, he was cold, uncaring, cocky and hateful. And that was all most people ever saw. They would say hurtful things, assuming that he couldn't feel. And he never showed them otherwise.

But inside, the part that Tara felt she was the only who ever saw, Spike was the sweetest, most caring person she had ever met. All he wanted was to be loved and accepted, he had such a capacity for love as she'd never seen before. He was tender and passionate and shy, stubborn beyond belief, and confused. He could never understand why nobody loved him, why people acted the way they did, why anything was the way he was. But he wanted it all.

He was like a little boy, Tara thought. So niave, wanting to understand and be part of the world. Just like a little boy, if little boys had enormous sex appeal and knew about bedroom stuff. Actually, that was a disturbing thought, so she threw it out and went over to check on the tea. Spike was complicated, no doubt about it, but that was one of his little quirks. He was like a puzzle, and Tara wanted so desperately to solve him. And as she carried his tea downstairs, she felt like she was close.

Spike woke slowly from his deep sleep. After sunset. Those where the first words that come into his head upon waking. He sighed and rolled over onto his stomach. He really didn't want to do this.

His senses told him that sunset was approaching. He briefly wondered what was taking Tara so long to get home, but remembered it was grocery day. He grinned with pleasure as the scent of lavender came floating down the ladder, along with the smell of fresh tea that accompanied every evening. He turned his head to face Tara as she sat down beside him on the bed.

"I've been wondering why we never bothered to get a second bed," Tara stated lightly.

"Not something you regret is it?" Spike asked.

p "Not really."

"Then I don't see how it matters."

Tara smiled. "Are you going to sit up and drink your tea, or lay there until it gets cold?"

"I hate tea," he replied, sitting up and taking the cup from her hand. "So, how was your day? The short ones didn't give you any trouble, I trust?"

"Just as fun as ever."

Spike grinned and downed his entire cup of tea in one. He made a face. "Hot."

Tara laughed. It was such a pretty, musical laugh, and Spike wanted to hear it again. "Of course it's hot."

"I would never be able to teach kindergarten. I don't know how you manage it," he said conversationally.

"I like it. The children are so sweet and funny, and a lot more intelligent than you would expect five-year-olds to be."

"Whatever makes you happy, luv."

"So, what about you? You have a productive day?" Tara asked, smirking.

"As a matter of fact, I did. I slept, did laundry, and watched Dawson's Creek," he said smiling. It was now or never. "And I had a visit from Willow today," he slipped in casually.

Tara's eyes widened. "You did? What did she want?"

"She wanted to talk to you. She and Buffy are coming over in a little bit to talk to us."

"What about?"

"I haven't the slightest."

Tara and Spike were sitting outside on the wall, talking about nothing in particular, when Willow and Buffy came up.

"Hey guys." They said in unison.

Spike responded with a nod of his head, and Tara said, "Hi."

"Willow glanced at Spike before focusing her attention on Tara. "Can we talk? Inside?"

Tara looked at Spike. He shrugged. "O-okay," Tara stuttered, leading the way.

Spike frowned at the return of the overly shy girl he thought he had banished by now.

"Spike?"

"That's me."

"I wanna tell you something."

Spike looked at her. "Oh yeah? And what would that be?"

p "I love you."

Back in the crypt, Willow and Tara were standing and looking awkwardly at each other.

"So," started Willow.

"Don't say it, p-please," Tara said softly.

p "Say what?"

"You're h-here to convince to go back with you, r-right?"

"That was my plan," Willow admitted. "I miss you."

"I'm n-not going to g-go with you."

"Why not?"

"I'm in love with Spike."

Spike braced himself for the surge of pleasure and excitement. And waited. When it didn't come, he realized the truth.

He struggled not to laugh in his excitement, brought not by Buffy's words, but by the sudden revelation. "Do you now?"

p "Yes, I have for so long, I've just been too frightened to tell you. But now I have and we can be together!" she said, hope shining on her face.

"No, we can't. I'm sorry, Buffy, but you're too late."

He watched her face fall, almost feeling guilty, but then he remembered how she had broken his heart so many times before.

"But, I thought- Why not?" she pleaded miserably.

"Because I'm in love with Tara."

Spike and Tara sat on the beach an hour later, silently staring at the waves. They both had their minds buzzing.

_ and we'll all say what we need to say. _

Willow's words from earlier that day rang in Spike's head. _ what we need to say _ .

He smiled to himself as the words he needed came into his mind and rested on his tongue.

"Tara, luv, I think I have something to say to you."

She looked at him, her head tilted to the side. "Yes?"

"I love you."

The young witch's face broke out into a grin. "Really?"

"Really and truly."

"That's good, 'cause I love you too."

THE END


End file.
